Mid-week Meanderings

I sit here snuggled under my electric blanket with a cup of coffee at my right, Bible to my left, and laptop propped upon my knees. I think Jimmy has given me his head cold. I didn't know this is what it meant to be one in marriage. Do we really have to share everything? Really?

This morning I am truly thankful for the power of God at work in the life of Ryan Hobson. God sure worked a miracle there, didn't He? Ryan goes back to the doctor tomorrow morning. Hopefully he will be done with chemo...and run headlong into a healthy, normal life armed with a testimony that will change the lives of all who come into contact with him.

I am thankful for a family who woke me up with telephone calls at midnight and at 5:45 a.m. I am thankful for my children and their families...for the grandson's that will invade my peace and quiet as the school bus rolls to a stop in front of the house this afternoon at four and the grandchild that will be born in August. Thankful for the warm fire in the living room and the husband who, in the wee hours of the morning, made sure it was blazing so I would be warm when I woke up. Thankful for the mother-in-law who conveniently has "leftovers" on the days I spend at the market. And as I look across the frost covered pasture to the pond shrouded in fog, I am thankful for the promise of spring that is on the horizon.

However, my heart is heavy this cold, winter morning as the thought of not seeing my youngest son for eighteen months slams into my heart like a sledge hammer. Sadness creeps in as I think of holidays without him, of him celebrating his birthday in a foreign and hostile land...of him missing the birth of his own child... of the reality that he may come home in a flag-draped coffin.

We ALL knew what he signed up for...but that mere knowledge does not stem the mixture of sadness and anxiety that wash over us in waves of translucent fear. I can honestly tell you it is a moment-by-moment struggle while the Spirit of the Lord beats down worldly emotions and a play-by-play, Walking by Faith and Not by Sight commentary trickles through my mind.

My heart wonders from my own circumstance to the funeral that will take place later today and the family shattered by the senseless death of a seventeen year old by his own hand. Of grief stricken parents groping with such harsh reality...grieving like there is no hope because they know not from whom all life flows...

Of the family members whose deep love for the Lord and close personal relationship with Him offers the only consolation in such a horrific situation... of the hope, of the prayer that as the Holy Spirit comforts those who know Him it will also engulf those who do not... pressing upon them hope eternal... that from one heartbreaking death life everlasting springs forth for those who have been left behind... and though now they do not know Him as personal Savior... one day, one day... He will greet them with open arms and the words, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."~NIV