He promised to love, honor and cherish me; but oh how he lied!
Broken, bruised, battered, scarred; I crawled into a bottle to hide.
Speed to motivate, weed to dull, vodka so I wouldn’t care,
I was living in a nightmare.
It began after a party; I said something wrong or laughed too much.
Pinned to the wall, yelling; my memory is fuzzy on details and such.
With an apology and breakfast he blamed it on too much to drink.
I should have run, but stayed;I was only 18,what was I to think?
He promised to love, honor and cherish; but oh how he lied.
That night a little piece of me died.
Another pill, a hit on a pipe, a bottle of wine so I would not care,
I was living in a nightmare.
For years as day faded into night,
I prayed, dear God, don’t let there be a fight…
I knew the signs; I’d read the books.
Be careful of words, actions, and looks,
Things that would set the course and tone,
My friends no longer came around…I was all alone.
Black eyes, broken bones, a stab wound, the cutting of my hair…
My God, I had to get out of this nightmare!
By now my son was five and in the closet he would hide and cry,
If I was killed, surely he would be the next to die.
“What will you look back on?” The words of a dieing sister…
Startled, reality dawning…I’d get out…just watch me mister!
She was my strength, my confidant, my hope.
Without her how would I cope?
One hot July afternoon, the cancer won and we laid her to rest,
A spark of resistance glowed within my chest.
She talked of God and getting her heart right.
I wanted to believe; but God never helped me in any fight.
I drank my last drink, took my last pill, and a plan began to form.
I had to get out, to protect my child; this life was not the norm!
Sober and clean with a heart full of care…
I was leaving this hellish nightmare!
It took a year, I think he knew…
Burn my clothes,sell my car; there was nothing he could do.
I called Mom and Dad, rented a truck, took some stuff
I had little cash…but with this kind of life…I’d had enough!
Protection and a fresh start was all I needed.
I won’t go back this time, I pledged, I pleaded.
And so my son and I moved back home,
Free at last and no longer alone.
I joined the Navy Reserves for the education benefit.
I gained weight, confidence, and a body that was fit.
I worked two jobs, went to college and made straight A’s
What? I was smart…wait a minute…hay…
My folks were right, I could do anything if I put my mind to it?
A new me was on the horizon…OK let’s do it!
Years passed, I didn’t have time for dating or men…
At the mere thought fear welled up; what if it turned out like then?
As healing slowly began: I’d double date here, I’d go out there…
But I wouldn’t get close enough for real feelings…I didn’t dare.
Then there was this guy, who really was my little sister’s friend.
He wasn’t my type…I didn’t want to set a trend.
The three of us would go out laugh, dance and have a great time…
“He’s a good man; it’s not like you’re gonna’ marry him!” She’d whine.
I’d stood him up, not once but twice, till my son answered the phone:
“Are you going to the rodeo? Can we go too?” How could I stay home?
It’s been over twenty years since that first date.
It ended with a kiss and sealed my fate.
He had a spirit that came straight from the Father above.
This man taught us of Heavenly love.
He took us to church, answered our questions, and must have prayed.
‘Cause Richard and I gave our hearts to the Lord…and never swayed.
I didn’t think it was possible – God forgave me of so many sins.
He changed my heart and truly healed me from within.
That nightmare that once was my life…
A wisp of a memory; God led me to be a good mother and wife,
That beastly man, alcoholic, druggie, and brute: I forgave him too.
The Bible says forgive as you've been forgiven: it was the least I could do.
Anyone can love a friend, but enemies, that love only God can send.
So as my testimony draws to an end,
I have but one question to ask…which path have you taken?
Are you falling apart, your world torn, heart broken and forsaken?
I know it’s true…Christ died on the cross my sins and yours to forgive.
Seek Him; accept Him and His gift of love, and a new life you will live.
The Holy Spirit will guide you, walk with Him, and never turn back.
He will change your heart; in Him there is nothing you will lack.
If He can change me; the worst sinner, with anger, envy, and such;
Lousy, selfish mother; how much will He change you? How much?
This is the day…your salvation is at hand.
Read these scriptures, give God your heart; with Him forever stand.
Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." We all have sin in our hearts. We were born under the control of sin. How many of the Ten Commandments can you name? You can find them in Exodus 20:3-17 How many have you broken? Realizing that we can not keep these commandments on our own- Admit that you are a sinner.
Romans 6:23 a. "...The wages of sin is death..." Sin has an ending. It results in death. We all face physical death, which is a result of sin. But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity. The Bible teaches that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever. It is the place where people who are spiritually dead will remain. - Understand that you deserve death for your sin.
Romans 6:23 b. "...But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Salvation is a free gift from God to you! You can't earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it. - Ask God to forgive you and save you.
Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!" When Jesus died on the cross He paid the price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, He did all this because He loved us and gave Himself for us! - Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of being a slave to sin. His love is what saves you…not religion, or church membership. God loves you!
Romans 10:13 "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!" - Call out to God in the name of Jesus! Romans 10:9,10 "...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." - If you know that God is calling you, ask Him to come into your heart.
Jesus said, Revelation 3:20a "Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..." - Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door? Believe in Him. Ask Him to come in to your heart by faith, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Open the Bible to the Gospel of John and read what God says about Jesus, about you, and about being born again.
God will help you. He loves you. You need to look for a local church where God's word is preached. The Bible says that we are to desire God's Word like a newborn baby desires mother's milk. Aren't you hungry to know the Truth?
Water baptism is one of the ways you first show that you have been joined to Jesus. This is an action, and actions will not save you. However, it is an act of obedience and a symbol of commitment. The symbolism is this: When you go down in the water you show that you have been crucified and buried with Him. And when you come up out of the water you show that you have been raised to walk with Him in newness of life. (See Romans chapter 6)
You have been born again. (See John chapter 3) Your body has become God's temple. Your heart is where He lives. Forgiveness is yours in Jesus. And you belong to Him. You were sin's slave. But now...you are a child of GOD!
John 1:12"As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name!"