I'm reaching out, reaching up, reaching over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way
Cause I was made to love...
I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me
I was made to love and be loved by you
I love the Toby Mac song, "I Was Made to Love" it is the reflection of someone who got caught up in the crush of life, chasing dreams...one who has found themselves half a step away from God. One who has come to the realization that no matter the dream we were made to love HIM first, love HIM most...
This song came to mind as I was reading the introduction to "Walking with God" by John Eldredge. "It is our deepest need, as human beings, to learn to live intimately with God. It is what we were made for..."
Before the fall of man, before humans living to please themselves caused the world to spin out of control...in the Garden of Eden...Adam and Eve had that relationship...it is what we as humans have been searching for ever since. They walked with Him, they talked with Him...they had a personal relationship with Him...
"Intimacy with God is the purpose of our lives. It is why He created us. Not simply to believe in Him, though that is a good beginning. Not only to obey Him, though that is a higher life still. God created us for intimate fellowship with Himself and in doing so He established the goal of our existence - to know Him, to love Him, and to live our lives in an intimate relationship with Him."
"And this we must recover...."
I don't know about you but I spent a lifetime trying to be somebody special...being from a large family...I was not the oldest, not the youngest...not even the middle child...it was always a struggle to be the one to get the attention of my parents. Looking back it seems like life in our household was a competition between siblings. My brothers and sisters were smarter, more talented, closer in age, shared interests, etc. and I felt I just kind of blended into the woodwork of mediocrity.
It was the acceptance of that mediocrity that led my life down the wrong path...but it was that childhood desire to "be somebody" that gave me the gumption to step out of the nightmare to travel a road, step-by-step...I thought, on my own.
Through a series of events that I now know were ordered by God, I gained the courage to at least try to be somebody...to find out who that person living in me was....it was determination that pushed me forward but it was God and God alone who gave me a successful career, a wonderful family, and the ability to forgive those whom I credited for that brief period of destruction...to forgive myself...and move on.
When it began to interfere with my relationship with Him...It was that same God who gave me the fortitude, the courage, the wisdom to walk away from a career which defined who I had become. I learned that where my passion is...was where I worshipped...and that the object of my passion, in my case, my career, was the object of my worship. I was not willing to let my life skid off its axis again...not now that I know WHO the center of my life should be. It was in this awareness, this revelation if you will, that I chose to retire early...to trust God with everything...my sense of well-being, my finances, my security.
Looking outwardly I have given up so much...but they are all material things. Looking inwardly, I have gained so much more. One of which is the simple gift of time...time to read my Bible and reflect on what it says...what it means...time to clean and cook and do laundry...time to relax...time to greet my husband when he walks in the door...without the rush of a welcome home kiss...then off to do a days worth of household duties before falling into bed exhausted for a fitful nights rest because there is so much to do, deadlines that have to be met, and customers to be satisfied.
It is that same God who has allowed me NOT to become fearful, regretful or resentful that I gave up a lucrative position just months before the economy tanked. It is that same God who allows me to be content at a time when the world seems in turmoil...so long as I love Him most and put Him first.
He still grants the desires of my heart...he gives me all I dream for. This time...the dream is a bit different. It is that true one-on-one, personal relationship with Him...deeper still...that I desire...that I long for...that I dream of...
I have found that I am indeed someone special, a child of the Most High, the One True God, the Great I am and I was made to love Him...made just for Him...made to adore Him...I was made to love and be loved by Him.
Luke 12:34 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." KJV
Deuteronomy 6:5 " And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." KJV
Psalms 40:16 "But may all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; may those who love your salvation always say, 'the Lord be exalted!'" NIV